I Will Remain Here Until I Am Sure What It Is I Am Leaving.

“My network connection is not fucking active…”

My friend is wrestling–

I, on the other hand, have retired.

From all of it.

I was useless at it earlier in the day, when I was supposed to be excited.

A shiny new MacBook Pro and an iPhone.

All I wanted to do was sleep.

I love shiny new toys, don’t get me wrong– what I don’t like– what I’ve come to resent, in part, is how fucked up it makes us all.

Where’s my phone?

Let me just send a quick text.

Has he replied yet?

It’s not due till Monday but I could send it now, you know, at 22:50 on a Saturday night because I’ve got this shiny thing in my hand that makes it all so possible.

Technology is necessary.

But so are a few other things.

Things loads of people forget.

Like breathing.

Or waiting.

Or sitting with the feeling.

iPhones make everyone shit at that sort of thing, it would seem.

I thought, of all the things I’d miss, I really didn’t miss technolgy at all when I did Vipassana last year. Not once. I didn’t miss it once.

I feel like I should write about this when I’m less tired.

I’ve dinner on the boil and need to tend to my garden of roasted beetroot and zucchini, soy and sesame oil, cayenne pepper and lemon. There’s kale bubbling in a pot and I plan to dice the beetroot up all mish-mashed and slather it in wasabi mayo and make a banging salad of justice for me and my guest.

The Japanese girls downstairs are trying to drag a suitcase down a flight of stairs, they’re giggling and drunk. It’s hard to tell. They’re pretty thick.

I want out of it, a bit.

I want to return to the mountains.

I don’t really want to study again, not really.

I want to pay attention.

I want it to be quiet, really quiet.

I’ve dinner to prepare and a documentary on The Marketing of Madness to watch with my dear friend… Gobble, gobble, watch, watch.


One Response to “I Will Remain Here Until I Am Sure What It Is I Am Leaving.”
  1. how are you!This was a really quality subject!
    I come from milan, I was luck to find your subject in baidu
    Also I get a lot in your Topics really thank your very much i will come every day

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