Sick In The Tummy, Sick In The Head.

“It does not matter how slowly you go, so long as you do not stop.”
– Confucius.

It’s been a funny little day. I’ve been hauled up in bed for most of it. I’ve tried to get a few things done, to little avail– I did manage to make it to yoga though– more of a last ditch attempt at sanity than desire– I woke up all knotted and anxious again. Felt like if I didn’t get up and get sweaty I’d lose my mind or jump out the window or both.

I did make some soup though. I know. Skies the limit, right?

Realising that it was likely to be a slow, miserable day I resigned myself to some reading. Forget the films, the editing, the CV or the phone calls. Just read. You’ll be right mate. Wait till tomorrow. You’ll see. Which is when Patrick O’Neil’s ‘Sideways: Travels With Kafka, Hunter S. & Kerouac’ jumped out at me from the shelf. Mainly because the over is bright yellow– it’s also literary nonfiction and written by an Australian my age…

It’s not really my cup of tea. I find reading about the quasi enlightenment of LSD tripping soul searchers dull, to say the least. The real challenge for me has always been the pursuit of sober enlightenment. I grow tired of the inarticulate gnashings of junkies trying to justify their experiences… plus this book is not particularly well written. Still, it sits on a shelf, kudos to him.

I’ve had some sort of tummy bug today– Or I’m not so sure. Tears, vomit, nausea… It’s a tricky trio. Time will tell. I actually think I just need a fucking cuddle. You know monkeys die if they’re not held regularly? Yeah, well…

Clearly I’ve not much to say as I’ve spent the entire day rolling around in bed wondering what’s wrong with me. I’ve only left the house once.

I did, however, glean some joy from Leonard Cohen’s Beautiful Losers on the loo earlier. It’s starting to make perfect sense to me. It’s a curious book. The middle is quite charmed and beautiful. Perfect for today.

Unlike this, which I just find confusing:

and this:

That’s all I can manage tonight folks.


I want my mum.



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